MATT SCHUBERT’S OUTDOORS: And to all a good night

THROW OUT THE tube socks, Santa.

I’ve got more than enough whites to survive another wet North Olympic Peninsula winter.

What I really want this holiday season can’t be stuffed into a stocking or thrown under the tree.

Rather, I have a few yuletide wishes of the sporting variety.

So summon up some of that Christmas magic, and give your overburdened elfin workforce a day off.

There will be no Occupy North Pole demonstration on my account.

Consider it a trade off for all the times I’ve been naughty this season (think more Bart Simpson and less Tiger Woods.)

I know you’re a busy man, Mr. Claus, so without further ado, here’s the list:

■ Ridge return — The holiday season is here and Hurricane Ridge is still hurtin’ for snow.

If we could get a couple more feet, it wouldn’t be long before skiers and snowboarders could enjoy the Ridge with the luxury of an operational rope tows.

This might fall under Jack Frost’s purview, but it never hurts to ask.

■ Pujols in peril — Maybe it’s not in the holiday spirit to wish ill on another, but perhaps there are exceptions?

After all, we are talking about a man — ex-St. Louis Cardinal slugger Albert Pujols — who broke the hearts of millions just so he could go from “wealthy” to “moderately wealthier.”

The Los Angeles Angels of Disneyland lured Pujols away from a World Series champion in a baseball crazy city with a 10-year, $254-million deal.

(You know, because a 9-year, $210-million contract was hardly appreciative enough of the future Hall of Famer.)

I’m not asking for any injuries or personal problems, Santa.

I’d just like to see Pujols’ skills diminish so abruptly that he rues the day he chose the Rally Monkey over the most loyal fanbase in all of baseball.

■ Ring for the Ferrets — The Felonious Ferrets, my fantasy football team, find themselves in the Front Porch League title game for the second year in a row.

Given all the time and effort I’ve put into making the franchise a winner — we’re talking hours of waiver wire sifting, trade talks and pre-draft strategy sessions — I think it’s only right that I come away with a championship ring.

Trust me, this isn’t about the money, Santa.

It’s about sticking it in the faces of all my old high school buddies.

(OK, and maybe it’s a little bit about the money, too.)

■ Association return — It’s been four long years since the Seattle SuperSonics left the Emerald City for dustier pastures down in Oklahoma City.

I think that’s a long enough time in professional basketball purgatory for the jewel of the Pacific Northwest — an area responsible for such NBA immortals as John Stroeder and Brian Scalabrine.

At this point, I’ll take anything; even that mess of a franchise down in New Orleans.

Just make sure NBA Commissioner David Stern isn’t running the show.

If there’s anyone who’s been naughty, it’s that guy.

________

Matt Schubert is the outdoors and sports columnist for the Peninsula Daily News. His column regularly appears on Thursdays and Fridays. He can be reached at matt.schubert@peninsuladailynews.com.

More in Sports

Runners take off at the beginning of the 2023 North Olympic Discovery Marathon at 7 Cedars Casino in Blyn. The two days of running events begins Saturday with the marathon and half-marathon Sunday. (Michael Dashiell/Olympic Peninsula News Group)
RUN THE PENINSULA: North Olympic Discovery Marathon returns this weekend

Saturday and Sunday is North Olympic Discovery Marathon weekend,… Continue reading

AREA SPORTS BRIEF: Days added for shrimping at Discovery Bay and Admiralty Inlet

The recreational spot shrimp fishery will reopen in the Discovery… Continue reading

Ava-Anne Sheahan, Port Angeles softball.
ATHLETE OF THE WEEK: Ava-Anne Sheahan, Port Angeles softball

Port Angeles’ Ava-Anne Sheahan had a spectacular 2A state tournament this weekend,… Continue reading

Peninsula College’s Hannah Wagner of Sequim signs to play soccer for Vancouver Island University surrounded by her teammates and assistant coach Andrew Cooper and head coach Kanyon Anderson. Wagner was also the women’s soccer team recipient of the Wally Sigmar and Art Feiro awards for leadership, academics and citizenship. (Peninsula College)
COLLEGE ATHLETICS: Pirates hand out awards for leadership, inspiration

Peninsula College last week announced its annual athletics awards… Continue reading

The Port Angeles softball team celebrates its fourth-place finish at 2A state tournament Saturday. The Roughriders won three out of five games at state to place and they only graduate two seniors. (Port Angeles softball)
STATE SOFTBALL: Roughriders finish fourth at state

Forks pulls out one victory but unable to place at 2B

Port Angeles' Parker Nickerson competes in the long jump this weekend at Mount Tahoma. (Michael Dashiell/Olympic Peninsula News Group)
STATE TRACK AND FIELD: Peninsula athletes shine at state meets

Sequim’s Clare Turella lone state champion from area but plenty of athletes place

AREA SPORTS BRIEFS: Lincoln Park BMX clinic hosted by Olympian Nyhaug

Canadian BMX Olympic champion Tory Nyhaug will be giving… Continue reading

Garrett Little of Sequim finished second at the state 2A boys tennis tournament this weekend. (Michael Dashiell/Olympic Peninsula News Group)
STATE TENNIS: Sequim’s Garrett Little finishes second

Sequim’s Garrett Little finished second in the state 2A boys… Continue reading

Port Angeles' Kennedy Rognlien slides in to base against Shadle Park on Friday. The Riders beat Shadle Park 10-9, then went on to beat Lynden in the quarterfinals Friday in Selah. (Lonnie Archibald/for Peninsula Daily News)
STATE SOFTBALL: (Updated) Port Angeles in third-place game at state tournament

Roughriders will face North Kitsap for a fifth time this season

STATE TENNIS: (Updated) Sequim’s Garrett Little in finals

Sequim’s Garrett Little is in the state finals after winning… Continue reading