PAT NEAL: The royal visit

IT’S BEEN ANOTHER tough week in the news with the recurring snowmaggedon, the heartbreaking Seahawks playoff loss to the Packers and the month long shutdown of the Coho ferry to Victoria. This wilderness gossip columnist is left with no way to sugar-coat what is turning into one of the worst cabin fever seasons in the recorded history of the Olympic Peninsula.

Still, there is light at the end of the tunnel. The days are getting longer and there is a new feeling of peace, hope and enlightenment now that members of the British royal family have expressed an interest in returning to Canada where they spent part of last Christmas just across the Strait of Juan de Fuca on Vancouver Island.

There in the sleepy little town of North Saanich the royal couple, Prince Harry and Meghan Markle, Duchess of Sussex, settled into the community. Gracing North Saanich’s Deep Cove Market, they thrilled the locals by ordering a clubhouse sandwich which was instantly renamed the Royal Clubhouse in their honor.

I know what you’re thinking: Who cares? Members of the British Royalty fan club, of which I am a rabid member, that’s who. We were thrilled and delighted at the prospect of not only this fortuitous geographic proximity with the royal couple but with the celebration of clubhouse sandwiches everywhere.

This American fascination with the British royal family is a mystery to many, including citizens of the United Kingdom who cannot understand our obsession with the inner workings of a medieval anachronism that was abandoned by most of the rest of the world many decades ago.

To which I would only ask, as compared to what? As colonists we revolted against the British monarchy on the principle of taxation without representation, which we exchanged for a system of taxation without cessation. The American experiment in democracy has run amok to the point where the scientists are out to lunch and the lab rats are running the show. Our three original branches of government — the legislative, judicial and executive — have been replaced by the big banks, big pharma and the military industrial complex which has resulted in the predictable trickle-down exploitation of the working people of this county.

Do the math. Tax rates for peasants in medieval England were around 20 percent. Compare that to the myriad taxes we pay now and you can figure the peasants got off easy compared to us.

No wonder the British monarchy appears so attractive. At least they have standards of basic human decency and proper social behavior. You screw up like Prince Andrew and you’re out. Compare them to our current crop of degenerate self-serving panty-raiding politicians spending our country into a black hole of debt at the bidding of a greed-soaked oligarchy whose only business plan is to sell our country out to the lowest bidder.

No wonder we like the royals. They are 10 feet tall in my book. And now, after the clubhouse sandwich story broke the real bombshell went off. Harry, Meghan and their son Archie plan on spending more time in our sleeping giant neighbor to the north, Canada. The queen is cool with the move so speculation on the royals’ future has gone wild.

While this wilderness gossip columnist cannot at this time confirm or deny the royal’s prospective visit to Oil City to accept the keys to the city and serve as grand marshalls in the Oil City Skunk Cabbage Festival Parade, they have not said no to serving as honorary judges at the chili contest. We certainly look forward to welcoming the royals on any future state visits.


Pat Neal is a Hoh River fishing and rafting guide and “wilderness gossip columnist” whose column appears here every Wednesday.

He can be reached at 360-683-9867 or by email via patnealwild [email protected].

More in Opinion

PAT NEAL: A ‘Dirty Thirties’ Thanksgiving

THIS IS A story of an Olympic Peninsula family celebrating Thanksgiving in… Continue reading

PAT NEAL: It’s spawning season again

IT WAS DAYLIGHT on the river on a dark and dismal day.… Continue reading

DIANE URBANI DE LA PAZ: ‘Neverending Story’ shines bright

THE LIGHT BULB blazed on courtesy of Anna Andersen, director of Port… Continue reading

Four North Olympic Peninsula residents have received Medal of Honor

Veterans fought in Civil War, World War II, Vietnam

PAT NEAL: Opening day of elk season

IT WAS DAYLIGHT in the swamp on the opening day of elk… Continue reading

Jim McEntire
POINT OF VIEW: Reflections on open-carry of firearms

By Jim McEntire THERE’S BEEN TALK of post-election unrest, making me think… Continue reading

PAT NEAL: The day after the election

“THE WHOLE COUNTRY is going to hell in a bucket now that… Continue reading

A labyrinth is tucked into the forest at H.J. Carroll Park in Chimacum. photo Diane Urbani de la Paz
DIANE URBANI DE LA PAZ: Walks of life, indoors and out

RUSHING TO CATCH the water taxi, I shifted into high walking speed.… Continue reading

Becca Korby
Law enforcement aids victims of crimes

IF YOU’RE COMPELLED to call for defunding law enforcement in our community/county,… Continue reading

PAT NEAL: How to get lost

AUTUMN MUST BE my favorite time of year. There are just so… Continue reading

DIANE URBANI DE LA PAZ: Safe passage for wildlife and humans

INSTEAD OF DREADING the soggy Sunday, I went diving into the rain.… Continue reading

PAT NEAL: October fishing madness

IT WAS ANOTHER tough week in the news. An invasion of desperate… Continue reading