AND SO, ANOTHER hunting season passes astern. I hope yours went better than mine. It was a shipwreck of failure, blame and excuses.
Hunting experts contend preparation is the key to success. I watched a number of hunting videos that stressed the importance of setup, execution and being on a private ranch in Texas, where you can shoot baited deer from the comfort of your heated blind.
Deer hunting on the Olympic Peninsula is not like that.
Here in Washington, we manage our wildlife in an attempt to not hurt anyone’s feelings.
So, we protected the bears and cougars, which increased their populations to the point where the deer quit living in the woods. It’s too dangerous.
The deer moved to town to get away from the overabundant predators.
Lately, so many deer moved to town they’re attacking gardens, people and their pets.
Deer hunting in town is not only illegal, it’s dangerous since the townsfolk are liable to shoot back.
I used to enjoy good deer hunting in the Olympic Mountains, but the collision of the tectonic plates buried deep beneath the Earth’s crust has caused the Olympic Mountains to rise and become much steeper and higher than they were in my younger days.
Hunting the lowlands is no picnic either. Even the flat places seem farther apart.
I had some equipment failures. I tried some new hunting clothes that trap the human odors inside so they don’t leak out and spook the deer. Unfortunately, when you combine an odor-trapping suit with a double helping of deer camp chili, you have a recipe for disaster you won’t see in a hunting video.
Hunting season wasn’t half over when the excuses started piling up.
It was too dry. There’s no way you could sneak up on anything with the leaves crackling underfoot like dry cornflakes.
Then the moon came out at night. That’s always bad for hunting.
There was nothing to do but sit around the lodge and wait for the weather to change.
And change it did.
A big storm blew in. The wind blew so hard, it was far too dangerous to go out in the woods.
You could get hit by a widowmaker. Even a small limb can kill you if it blows out of a tree with your name on it.
There was no sense taking chances like that just to get a deer, and besides, it was raining so hard you couldn’t see a deer until you were standing on it.
What we really needed for deer hunting was some tracking snow. Any deer hunter knows that.
There was nothing I could do but settle in and wait for snow.
Meanwhile, some tactical mistakes were made.
I got a new pair of hunting boots. Experts advise wearing new boots before hunting season so they are properly broken in and do not destroy your feet.
That’s why I made sure to wear my new boots while watching the hunting videos.
When I finally made it out into the woods in the new boots, they raised a crop of blisters that could have put me in the hospital while making a squeaking sound with each step that sounded like fingernails on a blackboard.
The most important part of hunting is knowing when to give up. So, I did.
That’s when tragedy struck. I was cleaning my gun when it accidentally went off and hit a poor innocent deer.
The surgery was a success, but little buddy didn’t make it.
We’ll have a celebration of life with venison curry, roasts and kabobs.
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Pat Neal is a Hoh River fishing and rafting guide and “wilderness gossip columnist” whose column appears here every Wednesday.
He can be reached at 360-683-9867 or by email via patnealproductions@gmail.com.
