HOW YOU DOING on your New Year’s resolutions? You know what I mean. Maybe lose a bit of weight? Get into better physical condition? Reduce your time on social media? Me? All of the above.
Polls I read report that 23 percent of people give up on their resolutions by the end of the first week! Only 3 percent continue through to the end of the year. I don’t know if I have ever been part of that 3 percent, have you? Right now, I’m about 50/50 on keeping my resolutions so far. And, yes, I feel a bit bad about not following through on all of them.
The internet is full of articles by “experts” about how to keep New Year resolutions. Most I think we’ve all been aware of before, but I found one that I think might actually help me. It was from an article by Chester Sunde, a psychologist writing for “Psychology Today.” He says that keeping a resolution is about treating yourself as a friend who supports your growth and wellbeing rather than a “commander demanding obedience.”
I’ve never thought about it that way.
Most of the time when I fudge on the no-fudge resolution, I only hear a nag with a wagging finger chiding me for failure. How refreshing it would be to have a mental advocate in my corner encouraging me to keep on trying to do better after a slip-up.
Maybe loosening up on keeping my resolutions isn’t backsliding after all. In the long run, that “advocate attitude” might be more important than field marshal rigor in meeting my New Year’s goals.
Interestingly, at least to me, was that I found the root word for “resolution” was from the Latin meaning “to loosen, untie, or release.” I don’t think that means it’s OK for me to “loosen” my belt a notch or two and not care what pant size I wear anymore.
In a way, the definition goes along with Sunde’s idea of keeping a resolution by loosening the grip of guilt for failure and substituting an attitude that encourages you. It’s more helpful to listen to the friend who genuinely wishes your wellbeing rather than the other voice that just loves to point out your failure.
Martin Luther, the church reformer, had a lot to say about destructive inner voices. In his early years as a monk, he was so distracted with his guilt over even the most minor personal failures that it almost drove him nuts.
It was only after intensely studying the Bible (check out Romans 8) and some good counsel from his superior that it sunk in that Martin was trying too hard to win God’s favor. Martin finally realized that his Creator knew him and everyone better than we know ourselves. Plus, God has always offered a welcoming hand up when we realize we’ve messed up again. That’s what is called “grace,” and it’s there no matter what.
Admittedly, this is a bit of a tangent on the topic of resolution keeping, but this is a Faith Issues column. What did you expect, pruning guidance?
Regardless of your resolutions this year, maybe loosen up a bit, not your belt, but your approach. You can be your own best encouraging friend and “grace will lead you home.”
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Issues of Faith is a rotating column by religious leaders on the North Olympic Peninsula. Don Corson is an Ordained Deacon in the Lutheran Church (ELCA) and the winemaker for a local winery. He is also the minister for Prince of Peace Lutheran Church in Forks. His email is ccwinemaker@gmail.com.
