ISSUES OF FAITH: ‘Evil tongue’ can have a lasting impact

I have personally witnessed how verbal abuse and hateful words can cause deep, unseen wounds that leave lifelong scars.

MAIMONIDES, THE GREAT Jewish scholar, taught, “Silence is a protective fence for wisdom.”

Alan Morinis, says “The tongue is the pen of the heart, and the ability to be silent demonstrates a high level of self mastery” (Every Day, Holy Day).

As a parent and teacher of 37 years, I have seen the devastation that hurtful words can have.

I have never believed the saying “Words can never hurt me.” Whenever I hear “They’re only words,” I remember seeing the pain and tears that “only words” have caused.

I have personally witnessed how verbal abuse and hateful words can cause deep, unseen wounds that leave lifelong scars.

This is a timely issue during this contentious election. As the candidates discuss the character and past of their opponents, and some try to lay the blame on different groups for the nation’s problems, we seem to have become immune to blatant lies and ugly, demeaning words.

Hateful words are replacing calm discussions on how candidates differ on the issues. We find ourselves on opposing sides with our friends and families, and sadly, words may be said in the heat of the moment that will be difficult to take back.

A powerful Jewish story illustrates the lasting impact of our words.

A man approached his rabbi asking how he could make amends for some hurtful things he had said.

The rabbi handed him a feather pillow and instructed him to go to the balcony, rip open the pillow and shake the feathers out into the wind. The man found this a curious suggestion but he did as he was told. The rabbi then told him to go and collect all the feathers that had blown away.

“But that’s impossible!” the man exclaimed.

The rabbi agreed, saying that our words are like the scattered feathers: Once said, they are impossible to take back.

“L’Shon Hara” is the Hebrew phrase commonly translated as gossip, but its literal meaning is an “evil tongue.”

Maimonides said l’shon hara is equivalent to murder but more heinous because “it kills three people: the one who said it, the one who heard it, and the one about whom it was said” (Everyday Holiness, Morinis).

This is a powerful statement about how potent our words can be.

Even if what we say is true, but will hurt someone unnecessarily, it is still considered l’shon hara.

During our recent Yom Kippur services, Jews confessed several times to having sinned (missed the mark) in our 26 hours of prayers.

Many of those sins were about our speech. We collectively and repeatedly asked God for forgiveness for the sins involving acts of speech … for foul speech, fraud and falsehood, idle chatter, false oaths, slander, gossip and judging others.

In Judaism, how we use our words is taken very seriously, and we are admonished to always consider the impact our words may have on others. In the end, no matter how deep our differences and how difficult it may be at times, we must remember that we have all been created in the Divine Image.

If we treat each other with the knowledge that there is a holy spark within every soul, we will come closer to achieving tikun olam, the repair of our world.

Kein yehi ratzon … may it be God’s will. Shalom.

_________

Issues of Faith is a rotating column by five religious leaders on the North Olympic Peninsula. Suzanne DeBey is a lay leader of the Port Angeles Jewish community.

More in Life

PLAL Aritist of the Month - Ruby Beach and Destruction Island by Steve Deligan
Port Ludlow Arts League to host artist reception

The Port Ludlow Art League will host a reception… Continue reading

Photos by Katie Newton-Salmon
2024 Sequim and Port Angeles Equestrian teams got off to a great start during its first WAHSET competition, bringing home where they brought home nine first place wins. Top row from left: Katelynn Sharpe, Kennedy Gilbertson, Savanah Boulton, Celbie Karjalainen, Asha Swanberg
Bottom row left: Coach Misty Gilbertson, PA member Olivia West, Kenzie Winters, Lilly Meyer, Joanna Seelye, Taylor Lewis, Kiaja Johnson, Paisley Morris, PA member Zakara Braun, and coach Ady Crosby. Not pictured non-competing member Paige Reed and advisor Katie Newton.
HORSEPLAY: First high school equestrian event of the year for Sequim

SEQUIM HIGH SCHOOL’S equestrian team had a “great first meet,” said coach… Continue reading

Emily Matthiessen/Olympic Peninsula News Group
Sequim Ballroom intern Brie Rocha follows instructor Werner Figar’s lead as he keeps an eye on his intermediate/advanced swing class.
Dancers work on moves during classes at Sequim schoolhouse

Beginners, intermediate students learn variety of ballroom styles

ISSUES OF FAITH: The courage of religious leaders

“JUSTICE, JUSTICE SHALL you pursue” (Deuteronomy 16:20). The Jewish Bible, the Tanach,… Continue reading

Rev. Asha Burson-Johnson
Unity in the Olympics service slated

The Rev. Asha Burson-Johnson will be the speaker at… Continue reading

Jamal Rahman
Rahman scheduled for OUUF program

The Imam Jamal Rahman will present “Spiritual Insights and… Continue reading

The USS Argonaught stationed at Pearl Harbor and Brisbane, Australia during WWII.
BACK WHEN: The human cost of war hit the Peninsula in WWII

SEVENTY-NINE YEARS ago the end was in sight for World War 2.… Continue reading

A GROWING CONCERN: Make the most of the last weeks of winter

TODAY IS THE eve of Groundhog Day. Regardless if the furry rodent… Continue reading

Unitarian speaker slated in Port Angeles

The Rev. Terry Barrett will present “The Gift of… Continue reading

Tools for caregivers class set for Sequim

The public is invited to enroll in the Powerful Tools… Continue reading

Prayer gathering for peace slated

Bahá’is of Sequim and Port Angeles will host “Prayers… Continue reading