THERE WILL BE no more cries for more snow.
Thanks to Snowpocalypse 2012, I think we’re all set on the white stuff here on the North Olympic Peninsula.
The question is, what are we to do with it?
Well, as a man of Midwestern descent, I can think of at least one thing I’ve always been a big fan of: Getting it off the roads.
Save for that, there are a few other fun activities available to those looking to savor the snow before it all melts away.
I’d suggest snow skitching, but I’m pretty sure the PDN legal team would object.
So here are a few safer alternatives unlikely to result in permanent scars (and, yes, I have one on my left arm):
■ Snowball fight — The snowball fight always sounds innocent enough in practice.
Of course, once one actually begins getting pelted with little bits of packed snow — especially in the face — things quickly turn ugly.
Soon, snowballs are armed with bits of rock, the neighbor’s car is tattered with tiny dents and mom is treating various eye injuries. Be warned.
■ Demolition sledding — Why go sledding, when you can go demolition sledding?
Few things combine the thrill of sliding down a snow-covered slope with the rush of pummeling everything in your path like demolition sledding.
All you need are four sleds, a sizable slope and four people who don’t mind manhandling their buddies while hurtling to their eventual deaths.
Much like snowball fighting, things can get a little touchy.
That being said, the best demolition sledders are often parents.
■ Igloo building — Tree houses are all well and good, but they take substantial time, effort and materials to construct.
An igloo can be put together in a matter of hours if enough snow is available as well as a few shovels and something to hold the roof together (e.g. some folding chairs).
One note to the parents involved: You might want to keep tabs on what goes in those little snow homes. Just sayin’.
■ Snowman making — Obviously, this time-honored tradition goes back generations.
Snowman builders get to develop their artistic side through sculpture while also creating the friend they likely never had.
Best of all, the whole activity ends with a valuable life lesson after Frosty dies his inevitable slow and disfiguring death on the front lawn.
“Yes, everything eventually dies, little Timmy. EVEN YOU!”
■ Ridge return — Let’s face it, all these fun activities are simply a substitute for the real thing up on Hurricane Ridge.
Ranger-led snowshoes hikes, skiing and snowboarding are much more fun things to do than getting a snowball to the face (although, hitting someone with a snowball in the face can be nearly as enjoyable.)
Now that the Ridge’s ski and snowboard school is set to open this weekend — look for more on this in Friday’s PDN — you don’t have any excuses.
Don’t know how? Learn.
Trust me, it’s much easier than having to deal with little Timmy’s existential tears.
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Matt Schubert is the outdoors and sports columnist for the Peninsula Daily News. His column regularly appears on Thursdays and Fridays. He can be reached at matt.schubert@peninsuladailynews.com.